The Office

I work in a funny office. Some days it's funny because some of the people who work here are funny and sometimes it's just peculiar funny. Ten years ago, I came to work here as a middle aged, newly divorced woman who was starting over. I was in a strange new place that was so different from upstate NY that I might as well have been on the moon. I lacked confidence and faith, both in myself and others. What I did have, however, was a great work ethic, energy and a urge to please. So I tucked my "never,never,ever give up" mantra under my arm and started out on the adventure that was to become my life. I found myself among polite, friendly and caring people - which is to say they were not from the north. In fact, I was the only Yankee among them. I suppose I will never know if they "liked me...really truly liked me" at that time. They would never admit it. These are people who have been bred to be cordial. There were no tantrums or ugly words - no need for anger management classes here because anger didn't seem to exist here. I was greeted with a friendly hello by most people I encountered. People would stop in traffic and let me in. I was welcomed by my neighbors with offers to help with anything I needed. I thought I was in heaven! Unless you come from the north - and specifically NY - you can't really appreciate how nice it is to have strangers be kind to you. We pretty much stick to ourselves in the north. You can sit at a merge lane and feel yourself grow old as you wait for a break in the traffic. Pull out and horns blare. No one asks how you are because no one cares. Life is about multitasking for optimum performance. Now I feel as if I live eternally on the set of Steel Magnolias. I get my hair cut and listen to the sweet parlance of the south. There are stories, just the tiniest bit of gossip and more stories. At work I listen to the lilting conversations around me, sprinkled with "bless her heart" (which is to mean that the person in question is so dumb that she can't even dress herself) and "it's cold enough to kill hogs in here" (which means that the ambient temperature must have dipped below 60). I have learned that "God don't like ugly". That is not to say that I haven't had some problems assimilating. I have...yes I have. I have finally just developed the knack of inquiring about the health and family of someone I am calling for a business conversation first, instead of just telling them what I need from the get go. I'm told I have a 'tone' when displeased. I've been warned about terse emails, doors that close a little too loudly and counting to 100 before I speak when I'm irritated. I take all these suggestions to heart because I know it is a better way to behave, but Lord it is not something that I come by naturally. I feel I can defend my actions by saying "at least I didn't slap her" but I don't. Every day is a new lesson learned and one more step toward civility for me. And I feel I am all the better for it. But every once in awhile the need to pull someone's hair creeps in and it takes all my resolve to restrain myself. But I walk away. And that, my friends, is progress.